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-the Honest Moms
Monday, June 9, 2014
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Operation Buh-Bye Diapers
Summer is officially here!
Last Friday, I said au revoir to my students, finished grading the last of Le Petit Prince essays and the final exams, and cleaned up my classroom until I greet it again in August.
As I exited school on that sunny, gorgeous day, a smile was plastered across my tired face. Thoughts of picnics at the park, melting ice cream cones, sidewalk chalk and sun-kissed skin danced in my head. I cherish summer for all the fun moments that await with the girls.
Suddenly, one summer activity fired in my brain as if to say "Hey, don't forget about ME! You've put me on the back burner for way too long!"
Ugh. Not you again.
No parent wants this activity on their much-anticipated Summer Bucket List.
These two words can instill more fear in a parent than any of the following two words in Parenthood:
POTTY TRAINING.
Oh, the horror.
Olivia is three years and two months old, which is the same age that our older daughter, Madelyn, finally potty trained. Three years ago this summer, I was on month two as a mom of two, and I was prying my eyeballs open on a daily basis just to keep both girls alive due to severe sleep deprivation. Oh, and Olivia was nursing every two hours, so yeah, why not throw potty training for Madelyn into the insanity.
But as soon as Madelyn decided she was ready to ditch her diapers for good, it only took her three days to "get it." Of course, like many parents, we tried toencourage force Madelyn to potty train on Winter Break, when she was three months shy of turning three. Our endeavor was selfishly planned to try to avoid having two kiddos in diapers. She did not mince words. "NO, mommy! I wear diapers! Change me! I POOPED!"
We tried the same, futile attempt to potty train Olivia this past Winter Break, and she honestly laughed in our faces. She peed anywhere and everywhere except the little potty. She could care less that her coveted big-girl panties* were soaked. (*These were even her sister's big-girl panties, which we talked up for weeks, even making a spectacle of "releasing them" from the Rubbermaid storage bin in the basement for extra theatrical effect--you know, kinda like how people completely FREAK out when Disney releases a classic movie from "the vault" as a Diamond Edition Blu-Ray in order to make a few millions. We were hoping for that same reaction.)
Oh, and I am still trying to get used to uttering the word PANTIES without shuddering.
I'm an Honest Mom. I should be honest. The word panties is up there with the word moist as the worst words in the world. Oh, and rural. Because I can't pronounce it correctly.
I only got up enough courage to say "panties" because I have two girls, so I have to learn to accept and embrace this hideous word.
Turns out, the word undies just doesn't register with them. Sheesh.
Now, I am not going to say there is an end-all, be-all, fool-proof way to potty train. If any mom tries to tell you so, run away in the opposite direction. For real. I was recently at Target buying yet another box of Cruisers with Olivia in the cart, when a random woman thought it was her chance to befriend me in order to tell me the agonizingly awkward story about how she successfully potty trained her now 42-year-old-son. In 1975.
I know Amazon has a ton of appropriate books, DVDs, sticker charts, reinforcement tools, and even personalized rewards where you can embroider your child's name on a t-shirt to tell the world that "___(insert child's name here)____ peed/pooped on the POTTY!!"
Seriously. Go Google it. I can't make up this stuff.
The important thing to remember is that every child is different, so every child will decide when they are ready to potty train. Ignore that Mom at gymnastics who won't stop boasting about how her 15-month-old has been potty trained since his first birthday. Mom and Dad can't make this milestone occur any faster, unfortunately. Olivia stays dry during the day for hours, so we decided to take the plunge as soon as school was out and I could devote time to helping her.
The potty training method that has worked for us looks like this:
panties (EEEEK) to wear for the day.
"Because today, you're going to be a BIG GIRL!"
"Sure, Mommy. Let's go! I want the princess Rapunzelpanties that Sissy used to wear."
Um, what just happened? She's really on board. She's ready to do this.
Upon putting on the Rapunzelpanties (Oh, GOSH), Olivia strutted over to the mirror to admire her cushy tush that was freaking CUTE. I couldn't stop laughing. She was turning around, hands on hips like a regular Victoria's Secret model.
"Look at me, Mommy! I love my panties!" (Get a GRIP, Amber.)
She happily ran into the bathroom and plopped down on the little potty. She requested a book, and why was I not surprised? I fully anticipated her sitting there for 15 minutes without any pee or poop to show for it. After a few minutes of leafing through a Llama Llama book, she cried out,
"Mommy! Listen! I am going to make the Tinkle Song!"
I scampered in just in time to catch the last few notes of that little ditty. She was grinning from ear to ear, and sure enough, she had peed on the little potty, and she couldn't wait to show me the evidence. So much so that the Swiffer Wet Jet had to make an appearance.
After I finished cleaning both Olivia and the floor, and we had pulled up pants, washed hands with the new special foamy soap she had specifically chosen, and cleaned out the potty, I gave her a huge hug and kiss. I was so proud of her. In that moment, I realized how fast she is growing up... how much I want to bottle her up in order to freeze time.
Day one of summer vacay and potty training were both huge successes. She didn't have one single accident, and she said she was excited to keep trying tomorrow. We can do this.
Potty training can be a huge pain in the arse, but I'm trying to look at this necessary parenting endeavor through a different lens this time. The more positive encouragement I give, the better results Olivia gives. The more patience I model, a calmer Olivia arrives to the little potty, ready for business. She is clearly ready to say "buh-bye, diapers," but she just needs a little guidance from us to be successful. It's amazing how much your kids can surprise you when you expect the worst outcome.
I'm looking forward to a summer where the "Tinkle Song" is the chart-topper in our house.
I'm NOT looking forward to saying "panties" every 30 minutes.
Last Friday, I said au revoir to my students, finished grading the last of Le Petit Prince essays and the final exams, and cleaned up my classroom until I greet it again in August.
As I exited school on that sunny, gorgeous day, a smile was plastered across my tired face. Thoughts of picnics at the park, melting ice cream cones, sidewalk chalk and sun-kissed skin danced in my head. I cherish summer for all the fun moments that await with the girls.
Suddenly, one summer activity fired in my brain as if to say "Hey, don't forget about ME! You've put me on the back burner for way too long!"
Ugh. Not you again.
No parent wants this activity on their much-anticipated Summer Bucket List.
These two words can instill more fear in a parent than any of the following two words in Parenthood:
- High fever
- Lost sippy (of milk)
- Test results
- Sugar overload
POTTY TRAINING.
Oh, the horror.
Olivia is three years and two months old, which is the same age that our older daughter, Madelyn, finally potty trained. Three years ago this summer, I was on month two as a mom of two, and I was prying my eyeballs open on a daily basis just to keep both girls alive due to severe sleep deprivation. Oh, and Olivia was nursing every two hours, so yeah, why not throw potty training for Madelyn into the insanity.
But as soon as Madelyn decided she was ready to ditch her diapers for good, it only took her three days to "get it." Of course, like many parents, we tried to
We tried the same, futile attempt to potty train Olivia this past Winter Break, and she honestly laughed in our faces. She peed anywhere and everywhere except the little potty. She could care less that her coveted big-girl panties* were soaked. (*These were even her sister's big-girl panties, which we talked up for weeks, even making a spectacle of "releasing them" from the Rubbermaid storage bin in the basement for extra theatrical effect--you know, kinda like how people completely FREAK out when Disney releases a classic movie from "the vault" as a Diamond Edition Blu-Ray in order to make a few millions. We were hoping for that same reaction.)
Oh, and I am still trying to get used to uttering the word PANTIES without shuddering.
I'm an Honest Mom. I should be honest. The word panties is up there with the word moist as the worst words in the world. Oh, and rural. Because I can't pronounce it correctly.
I only got up enough courage to say "panties" because I have two girls, so I have to learn to accept and embrace this hideous word.
Turns out, the word undies just doesn't register with them. Sheesh.
Now, I am not going to say there is an end-all, be-all, fool-proof way to potty train. If any mom tries to tell you so, run away in the opposite direction. For real. I was recently at Target buying yet another box of Cruisers with Olivia in the cart, when a random woman thought it was her chance to befriend me in order to tell me the agonizingly awkward story about how she successfully potty trained her now 42-year-old-son. In 1975.
Seriously. Go Google it. I can't make up this stuff.
The important thing to remember is that every child is different, so every child will decide when they are ready to potty train. Ignore that Mom at gymnastics who won't stop boasting about how her 15-month-old has been potty trained since his first birthday. Mom and Dad can't make this milestone occur any faster, unfortunately. Olivia stays dry during the day for hours, so we decided to take the plunge as soon as school was out and I could devote time to helping her.
The potty training method that has worked for us looks like this:
- Stay home for 3 days.
- Child wears t-shirt and underwear. (We don't waste money on Pull Ups. They only confused Madelyn.)
- Set a timer and every 30 minutes, ask child to sit on the potty.
- Clean up accidents, but be persistent. Stick to the routine.
- Encourage child for doing something on the potty. (And hell, give 'em an M&M or five for her troubles.)
- Gently remind her what to do if an accident occurs. Don't punish, just redirect. Be positive!
"Because today, you're going to be a BIG GIRL!"
"Sure, Mommy. Let's go! I want the princess Rapunzel
Um, what just happened? She's really on board. She's ready to do this.
Upon putting on the Rapunzel
"Look at me, Mommy! I love my panties!" (Get a GRIP, Amber.)
She happily ran into the bathroom and plopped down on the little potty. She requested a book, and why was I not surprised? I fully anticipated her sitting there for 15 minutes without any pee or poop to show for it. After a few minutes of leafing through a Llama Llama book, she cried out,
"Mommy! Listen! I am going to make the Tinkle Song!"
I scampered in just in time to catch the last few notes of that little ditty. She was grinning from ear to ear, and sure enough, she had peed on the little potty, and she couldn't wait to show me the evidence. So much so that the Swiffer Wet Jet had to make an appearance.
After I finished cleaning both Olivia and the floor, and we had pulled up pants, washed hands with the new special foamy soap she had specifically chosen, and cleaned out the potty, I gave her a huge hug and kiss. I was so proud of her. In that moment, I realized how fast she is growing up... how much I want to bottle her up in order to freeze time.
Day one of summer vacay and potty training were both huge successes. She didn't have one single accident, and she said she was excited to keep trying tomorrow. We can do this.
Potty training can be a huge pain in the arse, but I'm trying to look at this necessary parenting endeavor through a different lens this time. The more positive encouragement I give, the better results Olivia gives. The more patience I model, a calmer Olivia arrives to the little potty, ready for business. She is clearly ready to say "buh-bye, diapers," but she just needs a little guidance from us to be successful. It's amazing how much your kids can surprise you when you expect the worst outcome.
I'm looking forward to a summer where the "Tinkle Song" is the chart-topper in our house.
I'm NOT looking forward to saying "panties" every 30 minutes.
-Amber
Monday, June 2, 2014
Summer Bucket List
"Hope today goes okay," Greg whispered as he kissed my forehead goodbye this morning.
"It's day one," I said. "In the bag."
Summer break officially began today, and we hit the ground running--barber shop at 8:30 this morning was smooth sailing and things were going so well I just kept pushing that luck--Target AND Kroger. We made it home long enough to unload before what I assumed would be a quick trip to the vet with our newest kitty who is annoyingly peeing in baskets of clean laundry.
"Oh we will totally just run there and then eat lunch when we get home," I thought.
Only when we got there, sitting in the waiting room was an old couple with red-rimmed eyes and a pile of crumpled kleenex surrounding their very old cocker spaniel, and my boys immediately began using the dog scale as their own mini trampoline/body building pose stage and I knew we were doomed.
Doomed.
An hour later, we were home (and the old cocker spaniel was not) and since it was too early for wine, I made lunch.
Table ready, I wrangled the boys and then I put this in front of them:
So as a family of four we brainstormed a few ideas and they were horrific.
Like, seriously, am I really going to successfully do any of these?
Let's be honest: no. No I am not. Because the key word is "successfully." I am going to attempt the heck out of them, that I promise.
So on that brainstorming night, I asked Greg to go get me a piece of paper to write these
Generally, when you ask someone to get you a piece of paper, they return with a clean piece of paper that has space for which you can put words.
He returned with this:
"Seriously?" I asked.
"Why can't you use the back?" he replied.
Yeah no.
So I retrieved paper on my own and wrote down those (mostly) far-fetched summer bucket list ideas.
The idea is this: every Monday, the boys and I will select an idea to be completed at some point that week (most of the ideas are sort of a day-long adventure), and then each Monday, you can read about our adventure right here, all summer long.
Maybe we will inspire you to create a bucket list of your own.
Or not.
Maybe you have a bucket list full of ideas that are far easier than ours--do share in the comments below!
Let the summer begin!
-Kristin