"I don't remember my life before kids!"
::raises hand::
Um, I do!
Vivid memories dance in my head of a time filled with less stress, MUCH more sleep, more carefree outings, and fewer responsibilities than my life calls for at this very moment.
Think back to how your Friday evenings were typically like BEFORE having children. Go ahead. Hop in the Delorean and make sure your Flux Capacitor is fluxing...88 mph...You're there!
Friday nights probably involved meeting up with friends at a favorite watering hole to take advantage of Happy Hour specials. You'd laugh and chat about the highs and lows of the work week. Dancing was always required. After drinks and dinner, you decide to see a new movie or go Downtown to watch live music. Your fun night would end at some ungodly hour and you'd sleep off your one-too-many cocktails in a dreamless slumber only to wake up the next morning at 11 a.m., feeling carefree and probably a tad hungover.
Time to refuel the Delorean with bags of fruit snacks, animal crackers and Capri Suns, because now our journey is bringing us back to the present: Friday nights as a parent.
Before leaving school on Friday afternoon, I pile my enormous stacks of papers to grade in my bag, drive over to the sitter's to pick up the girls who have morphed into crabby and tearful tots after an exhausting week. The music selection in the car MUST undoubtedly be the Frozen soundtrack ("MOMMY! Put on the song where Elsa sings on the mountain top!"). The girls scream/sing the lyrics for the two millionth time, and I have no choice but to sing along, the songs emblazoned in my memory like a hot, searing brand.
We arrive home to the eternal predicament that is dinner and squabbles ensue about which show will be viewed (Sofia! Curious George! Word Girl!) so that Mommy can attempt to cook said dinner. Play time, baths, and stalling at bedtime will all occur before 8 p.m. When the girls are finally asleep, my husband and I collapse on the couch, trying to stay awake with glasses of wine and minimal conversation before passing out at nine o'clock.
#Parenthood
Before my daughters were born, otherwise known as Life Before Kids, I
I know, I know...you're thinking this is a gossip rag. And you would be right! Ridiculous, mindless celebrity entertainment, but I would be engrossed from the first scandalous photo to the last hideous outfit on the red carpet.
I can't remember the last time I read a magazine from cover to cover (Highlights High Five, excluded.) Two novels rest on my nightstand, collecting a thick layer of dust from not being opened in months. I don't remember the plot or characters any more. Something got in the way of my love for reading.
That something would be this crazy, thrilling, awesome, rewarding, exhausting adventure called Life With Kids. But even Mommy and Daddy need a Time Out. If only to regain their sanity, for the love of Pete!
My Time Out was unexpectedly granted last Friday thanks to the lovely folks at my district's Board of Education.
I had Parent Teacher Conferences Wednesday and Thursday evenings which made for excruciatingly LONG days at school. Luckily, high school teachers had Friday off and the promise of no school to look forward to. In my attempt to reheat some leftovers for dinner on Wednesday, my droopy eyes spotted something odd printed on my daughter's school calendar hanging on the fridge.
School for elementary students would be in session on Friday.
Whaaa???!!! I could hardly contain my excitement.
Mommy's Time Out would finally be possible!
What's the first thing I did after learning about this weird twist of fate, you ask? Did I make a mental note to catch up on those enormous stacks of grading with my free time? Nope. Did I decide to tackle the mountains of laundry? No way. I did what any sane Mom would do.
I jumped into my proverbial Delorean and thought about what activity I would do on a whim, in those fuzzy years known as Life Before Kids.
I called my favorite spa and scheduled a pedicure for Friday.
On Thursday, I received an e-mail at school from my husband. He surprised me by asking for the day off on Friday, too!
It's almost unheard of: a completely kid-free day for Mommy and Daddy.
We drove our youngest daughter to the sitter on Friday morning, then treated our oldest daughter by driving her to school instead of having her ride the bus. After we dropped off Madelyn at school, my husband and I had a delicious breakfast à deux where we tried our hardest NOT to talk about our girls. We drank cups of steaming hot coffee with no chance of it turning cold due to someone's need for a diaper change, snack, or different princess dress.
After breakfast, we drove to Target and listened to music from our iPod that we hadn't heard in forever. (Well, let's be honest--music we haven't listened to since Frozen came out in theaters!) We ran errands at Target and strolled through the aisles with ease to find the items we needed. No kids around to pick products off the shelves to inquire if we could buy them. No demanding that the kids stay close by. No migraine upon check-out.
I had an hour or so to kill at home before heading to my pedicure, so we relaxed and chatted about our plans for the weekend.
A minute later, Eric asked:
"Hey. Do you hear that?"
"Hear what?" I replied.
"Silence," he whispered.
It was glorious. Truly. We both sat in silence like huge dorks for a few minutes just to soak it all in.
My pedicure was wonderfully relaxing and oh-so necessary. I scanned the magazine selection during my second coat of OPI polish and what do you think was staring back at me, practically begging me to open the cover?
You got it.
US Weekly.
The universe was speaking to me. It was then that I realized the importance and value of Mommy's Time Out. As parents, we work SO hard every day to be the best Mommy or Daddy to our kids. We give, give, give, and rarely ever take in return. There is no flashy award for being a great parent. We just DO IT, from sunrise to sunset, because it is our job. Our kids and family are our life.
That being said, let's remember that it's okay and absolutely necessary to set time aside for ourselves. Mommy's Time Out. Read, exercise, meet friends for coffee or drinks, do a craft that you enjoy, go shopping for YOU, not for your kids. Plan something FUN without the kiddos.
I promise it will help you be a better parent.
Maybe I should renew my US Weekly subscription, after all?
-Amber
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