As is usually the case in the middle of May every year, I am furiously cramming present tense verbs and vocabulary phrases from October in preparation for final exams.
To keep things interesting when reviewing adjectives, I pull up photos of celebrities and we take turns professing undying love and adoration for people like Justin Timberlake and crying foul and declaring hatred against such poor souls like Justin Bieber.
While reviewing today, I pulled up a photo of Jennifer Lawrence, and my female students declared (in English) that she was “bae.” (Pronounced bay.)
I consider myself pretty “hip” to the “lingo” (and using those words right there makes me so.not.cool at all) and I was stumped.
“Use it in a sentence,” I said.
“You know, like, she’s bae,” they replied.
“Can you spell it? Like, is she a body of water?” I asked.
“Bae is an acronym, Mrs. Kauffman. It means ‘Before Anyone Else.’ Jennifer Lawrence is someone you would pick before anyone else. She’s bae. Your bestie is someone you would pick before anyone else. She’s bae.”
“Got it.” I said. “It’s the most important people in your life--the ones who mean the most to you.”
“Totes,” they said.
(They really talk like that. They do.)
Yesterday afternoon, I got to sit with 500 baes. We all came together to hear Glennon Melton from momastery speak (recall our collaboration on her Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project here, here, and here).
For two hours I sat snuggled among three of my favorites, friends from forever ago and friends from now.
My baes.
So many things Glennon said came to me again and again throughout the rest of the evening and through today--so many one-liners and quotes and words of wisdom, not only on parenting but on marriage, and family, and faith, and being good and kind and love.
"We belong to each other," Glennon said.
I have processed and I am sure I will continue to do so as I read and re-read her words and contemplate what aspects of me I should apply them to in this moment, but there’s a story I’ve been wanting to share for a few weeks, and now seems appropriate.
Last week, momastery launched another Love Flash Mob, in which they tell people’s stories and then the momastery community gives--monetarily--to support the cause.
This Love Flash Mob in particular went to families with cancer--families who lost, families still fighting, but above all, families who need.
I gave--I had to--and I did so because two weeks ago, our next door neighbor (who also happens to have two boys and I don’t know about you but I have a really hard time these days not putting myself into someone else’s shoes--Elizabeth tackled that topic last week) was diagnosed with breast cancer.
She called me in the middle of a school day and I thought our house was on fire so I answered and there she was and even though I haven’t even known her for a year, I’ve mulled decorating choices with her and laughed with her at happy hours and a christmas party and launched things from a catapult in her front yard and borrowed a thermometer from her and drank more bottles of wine with her than I would even be able to count and so I let those silent tears roll down my cheeks as her voice said all it needed to say.
That night, our little cul-de-sac of women, we stood in someone’s driveway in a circle--six of us little motherhens protecting our bae.
As women do, we laughed and we cried and we shook it out Flo and the Machine style and we sort of silently declared in this circle of power that she would beat it. There really isn’t any other option in our minds or hers and so that is what it will be and as she begins treatment next week, and for as long as she needs us to be, she will be Before Anyone Else.
Among the many things Glennon said yesterday and has said since she began momastery: We belong to each other. So whether it’s cancer, or pre-school car pool, or the PTA, or five-year-old soccer, or yoga class, or running groups, or after-prom committee, or a blog that we set up so that people feel a little less alone, we are the community that we create.
We are each other’s baes.
-Kristin
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