The One Year Mark: A Very Happy Place

Right now, I’m in a funk.

One minute I’m excited, the next I’m anxious. Our house is waiting on some pretty big news, and quite honestly, I’m just not good at waiting.

I know you have been in a similar place in life... just waiting. And I know that you know it simply sucks. All we can do in these moments is surround ourselves with those we love, and have faith that the best outcome will happen. And pray, pray, pray.

And eat lots of chocolate chip muffins (my current weakness).

In the meantime, I want to share a brief piece I wrote but never posted to my personal blog this past summer. A time when it was scorching hot (I wonder what that feels like?) and my second (and last) child was turning one.

It was right after I spent all of my waking moments planning the fanfare surrounding his first birthday celebration. And I knoooooow you can relate to that. 

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Sept. 9, 2013

One year old! One year old! HOT DOG, one year old!

A lot of moms lament the one year mark. They “can’t believe” a year has passed since they birthed their sweet baby. They “can’t believe” their precious one is already so big. They “can’t believe” they are already done with the first year of sweet snuggles and coos and turtle-like movements.

Well, I can believe it. It’s been a little over 365 days since Graham-Man was born and it’s been a crazy year. Yes, a crazy awesome year filled with both tears of adoration and frustration. I love my second little man with every. single. fiber. of my being. I sometimes cry when I watch him sleep, I yearn to hug him in the afternoons when I’m at work, and when he looks at me with those big, beautiful, blue eyes, well... I just melt.

But I can’t explain how happy I am to be at the one year mark. No more bottles. No more runny, messy baby food. No more guilt over not being able to breastfeed. No more carrying him around everywhere and planning around nap times and bedtimes. (Well, that continues a bit depending on the day.) And soon he will be talking. Walking. Exploring and playing with his brother. Watching and listening and beginning to voice his opinion in our family.

And I can’t wait.

We are done with having kids. For sure. In fact, Brian will be a little incapacitated right around Halloween for a few days to seal that deal. We feel complete as a family of four. And we cannot wait to see what the next year holds in store. (Ah, poetry.)

Camping. Hiking. Biking. Hitting up every festival, family event, and community experience. Not that we couldn’t this past year, but it’s just so much harder to lug bottles and baby food and thirteen extra outfits and worry about blowouts and spit-ups and tantrums.

Oh wait. Yeah, not out of the woods on that last one, yet!

But you get the point. Things are going to be easier from this point forward. Some wouldn’t agree, but I wholeheartedly believe it to be true. I already love to go shopping with Mac. To watch his face light up at the zoo. To see how excited he gets for birthdays and parties and seeing his grandparents and going to Target. It’s fun. He has fun. We all have fun. Discussing silly things. Making silly faces. Singing silly songs.

Babies are unbelievable. They are blessings. They are amazing. And I had two, and now I’m ready to move on.

I am ready to toss the bouncy seat and baby swing and infant car carrier. Ready to never snap another onesie or buy another tub of Similac or have to ensure that absolutely nothing possible can come into contact with my child's face and impede proper breathing through the night.

I’m killing some of you, aren’t I? I promise I’m not heartless...just being HONEST!

Seriously, though, I’m excited. I can’t wait for this next chapter of life with my now non-baby boys.

Because I know this "party of four" party is just getting started.

Note: Due to scheduling conflicts, Brian has attempted to have that darn surgery three times now. Still hasn't happened...